Burnt Toast
This morning I had a sweet friend and friend's daughter come watch my kiddos for the morning while I took some time for myself. I was tempted to "be productive". I chose to cash in my free birthday Starbucks reward, get a pedicure, go to Target - ALONE and eat - ALONE. As I was receiving a great leg massage I was reminded how seldom I do things to take care of myself. I also thought about how often I eat the "burnt toast" while everyone enjoys the best of the meal.
Being a caregiver of any kind (parent, child of aging parents, caretaker of special needs persons, hospital staff, church staff, teacher and more) often leads us to neglect ourselves. Over and over again I've been reminded about self-care and the importance of it. An alternate message I hear is that as a woman and especially as a mom that it is in my nature to sacrifice and in my nature to eat the burnt toast.
When I hear that I often think, "but I want good toast!" Why should I always have to eat the burnt toast? I one time heard a woman say, "I'd never feed my husband the burnt toast". I cringed because every once in a while I want the good piece of toast. My inner child is throwing a tantrum yet my rworn out adult self is crying for a break. Our tantrums often come when we haven't received rest (at ANY age!).
I have to be honest, it is NOT in my nature to sacrifice. At least it's not in my nature to sacrifice JOYFULLY. I will eat the burnt toast and I might hold it against you. I will sacrifice something of myself and I may let the bitterness grow. Anyone can sacrifice, but few can sacrifice with joy. I know I struggle with it.
I'm not saying we shouldn't sacrifice. I'm not saying we shouldn't give of ourselves. What I am saying is that it's a struggle for me. On my best of days, the days when I have been filled up by receiving from God and from friends, I can joyfully sacrifice. On most days, when most of me is depleted I sacrifice with a grudge thrown in there.
Somewhere there needs to be a healthy perspective on giving and receiving. I am not using the word balance on purpose. Balance seems to be elusive. To me it's about perspective. Do I have a healthy view of sacrifice? Do I also have a healthy view of receiving care? Do I receive? Can I receive care? Do I allow others to serve me?
How can my life be full of joyful sacrifice?
Being a caregiver of any kind (parent, child of aging parents, caretaker of special needs persons, hospital staff, church staff, teacher and more) often leads us to neglect ourselves. Over and over again I've been reminded about self-care and the importance of it. An alternate message I hear is that as a woman and especially as a mom that it is in my nature to sacrifice and in my nature to eat the burnt toast.
When I hear that I often think, "but I want good toast!" Why should I always have to eat the burnt toast? I one time heard a woman say, "I'd never feed my husband the burnt toast". I cringed because every once in a while I want the good piece of toast. My inner child is throwing a tantrum yet my rworn out adult self is crying for a break. Our tantrums often come when we haven't received rest (at ANY age!).
I have to be honest, it is NOT in my nature to sacrifice. At least it's not in my nature to sacrifice JOYFULLY. I will eat the burnt toast and I might hold it against you. I will sacrifice something of myself and I may let the bitterness grow. Anyone can sacrifice, but few can sacrifice with joy. I know I struggle with it.
I'm not saying we shouldn't sacrifice. I'm not saying we shouldn't give of ourselves. What I am saying is that it's a struggle for me. On my best of days, the days when I have been filled up by receiving from God and from friends, I can joyfully sacrifice. On most days, when most of me is depleted I sacrifice with a grudge thrown in there.
Somewhere there needs to be a healthy perspective on giving and receiving. I am not using the word balance on purpose. Balance seems to be elusive. To me it's about perspective. Do I have a healthy view of sacrifice? Do I also have a healthy view of receiving care? Do I receive? Can I receive care? Do I allow others to serve me?
How can my life be full of joyful sacrifice?
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